.Saturday, February 18, 2006 ' 3:24 PM Y
blogging is a gd way to write down all my gan chu isnt it . Hais been feeling low this few days . i cried . studies , CCA and friendship making me mad . promised myself to be happy n yet i still cried .. CCA . e pressure being a SL . sec 1 giving attitudes , seniors nt giving full attention . i really teach until dunno how to teach le ..
friendship . i dunno its me thinking too much or wat la . but it seems like b/w us .. there is nth much left to talk about .. even in msn . we are drifting apart . i may seem happy on the outside .. but actually inside . its hurting . alot alot . i dun wish to end this friendship which i had alot of fond memories . i once thot dat it can be forever . but now . it doesnt seems like it . for no reason or small matters , we'll get angry with each other . "dong bu dong jiu shuo jue jiao" . although it may seems in a joking manner . but im scared . really scared dat 1 day it might really happen . i dun think they even try to understand me or care about my feeling . making me wait for like so dam long during recess for eg . i may not show it but im irritated you noe . dun they ever feel bad bout it .. and im always the one giving in to them , hv they ever wonder wat they hv done for me .. [ besides giving me present on my bdae ] Now, there is even conflict b/w the grp dat has been together for like yrs .. im so gonna stuck in the middle again . n i wonder how gd friends who actually can talk about anything last time can now pass each other without saying anything n even without a smile ..
whoever who reads this . dun ask . im sick and tired of everything . its jus the 2nd mth and i feel like breaking down already ..
sumtimes . i jus wonder . whether a old / a new friendship is better ...